Author: Me! Sofia
Rating: NC-17 kiddies!
Pairing and setting: Victor/Logan Origins movieverse the early years
Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from the Marvel Universe or the X-Men movieverse. Incest, violence, sexual situations, and hormones lol
Summary: They made a pact to trust their natures and protect their brotherhood, and they'ved stood by each other since that first night. Shows how they survived and matured through the adversity of their early years on the run.
A/N: This is my first Victor/Logan fic. Thanks to those who encouraged me to write this and for all the great inspiration. sikuriina.deviantart.com/art/Wanted-1255
The darkness had always terrified him, even when he had been tucked into his warm bed and the embers in the fireplace still glowed red in the gloom. His fevers and constant ill health had made him acutely aware of the pull the darkness had over him. He feared it not because it cultivated dread in him, but because he knew there had to be a reason it seemed to call for him, even in his waking hours. The darkness was around him now, but he wasn’t alone.
James ran through the woods, his fingers twisted into the sleeve of Victor’s jacket as they ran together, away from everything they had known and from the horror that their existences had been introduced to. He knew Victor wasn’t afraid of the darkness for the same reasons he was. Victor had learned from his fears, had faced them every night at his father’s furious hand…their father…Victor had risen up from it. And now Victor was all he had…and he was grateful.
Tripping, Jimmy staggered and almost pulled Victor down with him, but he stood firm and pulled Jimmy back up and kept running into the cold darkness.
“Stay with me, Jimmy” Victor’s clawed hand gripped Jimmy’s wrist and squeezed reassuringly. “We have to make it as far as possible before dawn.”
James didn’t answer, but forced his fatigued body to push onward and stay in pace with his brother.
Victor sniffed the air as they ran down a steep rocky slope and veered off to the right, pulling Jimmy along with him.
His heart was pounding against his ribcage, his mind still reeling from the cruel joke their lives had been up until Jimmy had slain his…their father. Victor knew he was supposed to feel something other than elation, but he couldn’t deny how free he was now that their father finally got what he deserved. He had always thought he’d be the one to rise up and tear his father down for the misery, the chains, and the brutal beatings. Jimmy doing so had only solidified the truth for him. They were brothers, not just by blood, but by nature.
Because of that, Victor felt responsible for Jimmy. Not because he was the eldest and knew the cruelties of the world, but because Jimmy had freed him. If it took him the rest of his life, Victor would protect his brother and care for him just to pay him back for changing his fate.
The first way he did so was by finding them shelter in a cave away from the chill of the night. James trembled, hugging himself and trying to fight the pain that was welling in his chest.
“Jimmy” Victor murmured, clasping his hand on his brother’s shoulder and sitting next to him in the darkness. “I know you’re afraid” he paused when Jimmy looked up into his eyes, the pale star-light poor illumination but the only keeper against the gloom. “I promise…I promise I won’t let anything hurt you. No one will hurt us anymore. Not unless we let them, and I’m damn well prepared to not let anyone hurt us again. Are you?” Victor’s emphatic murmur forced James to really look at him. Since Victor had stopped him from running blind into the darkness, James now saw him as his one true friend and brother, even after the horror he’d witnessed James perpetrate that had driven them away from home.
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore…” James finally spoke in a tight whisper. Victor smiled softly, pulling James against his side and wrapping his arms around him. “I won’t let anyone hurt you either, Victor. I promise.”
Victor nodded, his cheek brushing the top of Jimmy’s head as he hugged him tightly to ward the cold away from them.
Their brotherhood grew from that pact, supporting them out of their old lives and into the new dawn.
They had used the hunting trails going south into mountainous terrain, Victor taking advantage of the little game he could catch while Jimmy scavenged what he could so they could survive. At the last village they had been skirting, Victor headed into the square at noon commerce to steal some provisions for them while James huddled under a shelter they’d built out of fallen branches and brush. He brought back some blankets, stale bread and apples, as well as a tattered bundle of clothes and muddy boots.
“Here. Put those on and bury what you’re wearing” Victor had instructed as he tossed the bundle at James before he set up a fire to roast the hare he caught earlier in the day.
Undoing the bundle, James sniffed the dusty coat and wrinkled his nose at his brother. “Wear did you get this?” he said as he started to undress regardless.
“Why does it matter?” was the terse response he received since Victor was too busy starting the fire and hoping Jimmy wouldn’t notice the few droplets of blood on the coat’s cuff.
“Victor, is this blood?” was the next inquiry, and Victor rolled his eyes as he turned to regard his fussy brother.
“Yes, and before you ask, be sure you want to know the answer” Victor scowled at Jimmy’s wide eyed expression. Sighing, he grabbed some more twigs and snapped them as Jimmy’s gaze grew worried. “No, I didn’t kill anyone, stupid. I beat a kid up and stripped his clothes” was his surly response as he turned back to what he was doing.
Exhaling the breath he’d been absently holding, James continued stripping out of his pajamas and slippers before putting on his new clothes and boots.
As Victor began skinning his kill, James asked, “How was the village?”
“Crowded” was the monosyllabic response he received, so James dropped the subject and went about burying his old clothes.
As he dug a hole with his bare hands, James pondered over Victor’s gruff mood of late. He knew Victor didn’t like going to the village, but he didn’t think it was because of the stealing he had to do to fend for both of them. James often worried Victor resented having to take care of them both, especially when they were around people. He wondered if Victor ever considered leaving him behind.
“Doesn’t take this long to dig a hole, Jimmy” startled, he turned to face his brother who only smirked at his jumpiness. “What? I told you already I didn’t really hurt the kid” Victor grumbled as he leant down in front of James, a frown tugging on his young features.
“It isn’t that…” James murmured and looked down at his dirty hands.
“So what is?” Victor shifted to plop down next to Jimmy.
Lifting his eyes briefly, he exhaled sadly. “I know I’m a pain, Victor. We promised to help each other, but all I do is hold you back, and get you in trouble…”
Victor shook his head. “That isn’t true Jimmy. I’m the oldest, so I’m shouldering a bit more of the burden, that’s all. You’re still learning. Once I teach you a bit more about tracking and hunting, things will even up, don’t worry” Victor clamped his arm around the younger boy and squeezed him to his side. “Now hurry up so you can help me put the hare on a spit” he smiled and walked back towards the fire and shelter.
Nodding and returning the smile, James turned back to the hole he’d dug. He grabbed his clothes and tossed them in, regarding them for brief seconds before shoving dirt over them, and burying the last material attachments of his old life.
Over what was left of the year, the brothers had trekked along the Canadian border and into American territory, managing to go relatively unnoticed by other travelers along the main roots and taking shelter in the wilderness whenever they were in a real pinch. Whenever they ran out of supplies, they both traveled into town together and worked together at swiping what they would need.
Victor had escalated into a pickpocket, scrounging up whatever money he could to pay for things he and Jimmy couldn’t steal. When they journeyed into more metropolitan areas, they took shelter in abandoned houses or with other runaways, the latter of which often ended with the boys having to disappear quickly before authorities got involved. Both brothers preferred to live outside of society, taking their chances with the elements and the threat of predators than running the chance of getting caught and separated. For this last reason, Victor was emphatic that they never stay in one place too long. James knew Victor was right and that staying on the outskirts of society was best for the both of them, but a small part of him still yearned to fit in. He often got angry over the woes they faced and felt sorry for himself, but then berated himself for wanting something he couldn’t have.
A rustle of leaves to his far right sent his senses into sharp focus. He glanced across the brush and trees at Victor, who gestured with his gaze towards the deer they’d been tracking drinking from the shallow brook ten yards away. Nodding, he watched as Victor stalked stealthily without making a sound towards the creature, while James hung back and round the bend of trees and fallen trunks to box the animal in.
He treaded cautiously, but when he snapped a branch underfoot, the scene shifted into overdrive and instinct kicked in. Victor moved like lightning, launching at the deer and catching its hind quarters under his claws and bringing it down as James emerged just as quick, leaping over a log and sinking his bone claws in the animal’s chest and throat. The deer thrashed against them wildly, until Victor slashed its stomach open and gutted it while it was still alive.
James flinched at the sight, but stood his ground and let his claws retract back into his knuckles. They were covered in blood and dirt, their bare chests glistening with sweat and their trousers dingy from the months of travel.
Victor wiped his forehead with the back of his forearm, unintentionally smearing blood against his skin before he gave Jimmy a wide smile. “You did good Jimmy.”
James smiled weakly at the praise, averting his eyes from the animal’s dead black gaze to look up at Victor. He snickered, “You look like a hooligan with blood smeared on your forehead.”
“Hooligan? You mean expert hunter, runt” he sardonically remarked before standing and grabbing the deer’s back legs. “Grab your half and let’s head to the river. I want to get this thing skinned and over a fire before sunset” he stated, watching Jimmy with a crinkle around his eyes as Jimmy did as he was told.
Once they were sitting by the riverbank, Victor noticed how quiet Jimmy was as he stared off over the water’s surface. He’d seen how Jimmy hesitated during the kill, and figured he was just brooding over looking lax in front of him.
“I’m not much of a hunter, am I?”
Submerging a smirk, Victor finished laying out the venison meat over the rack him and Jimmy had fashioned out of tree limbs to dry their kills in the sun and walked over to sit next to his younger brother. “Practice makes perfect. Once you let instinct kick in, you might be as good of a hunter as me” Victor said as he hung his forearms over his knees, staring down at his hands and long claws before turning them palm up. “Shit. Don’t you love it?” he murmured before looking over at Jimmy.
“Love what?” Jimmy said and looked away from the water to Victor.
“The smell” he said as he brought his still dirty hands up to his nose and inhaled through his nose. “The metallic scent of blood” he paused and looked at Jimmy. “Whenever I get a whiff of it, it feels like it heats my own blood. I feel all warm and alive whenever I smell it” he explained, nostrils flaring as he leaned close to James. “It makes everything smell incredible.”
James brought his own hands up and scented the blood of the kill all over them, closing his eyes to relish the smell before smiling and nodding to Victor. “I like the way it smells, but I don’t like seeing it” he offered quietly before standing up and working out of his boots and trousers. “Let’s go for a swim before supper?” he asked as he pulled his trousers off his ankles and headed for the bank of the river.
“Fine, but we’re not going to mess around for too long” Victor smirked as he worked his own trousers off and kicked his boots off. He knew Jimmy. Going for a swim meant he wanted to wash off the dirt, the sweat, and the blood. When he’d first taken him tracking, and showed Jimmy how to skin his first kill, he’d seen how he hesitated. It wasn’t out of some fussy sense of cleanliness left over from his privileged life, but more like he didn’t know if he should want and like living his true nature.
He kept telling Jimmy he needed to let nature call the shots, not his old sensibilities about morality and society. Those rules no longer applied to them. They had only shackled Victor like a domesticated animal, and he didn’t intend to let society’s rules govern him ever again.
The brothers frolicked in the water, splashing and washing off the day’s hunt. The rest of the time, they spent it laying on the bank and drying out under the sun, talking and laughing. Soon hunger urged them into an early supper where they devoured most of the venison meat they roasted over a small fire. Once twilight came around, they cuddled against each other to ward off the cold. James turned to cuddle into Victor’s side while Victor smiled and stared up at the stars.
For all his faults, he was proud of his little brother. He couldn’t imagine not having him by his side, and when his mind lingered over the possibility, he grew unreasonably angry. The anger usually subsided when he recalled the pact they made to each other little over a year ago. He knew that of the two of them, Jimmy had potential to do big things. Victor was sure that if Jimmy wasn’t his brother, then he probably would be another member of society that’d look down on him with fear and scorn. Everything he knew told him that he and Jimmy were two sides of one coin. One brother’s innocence was another brother’s deviance on the flip side of things. Because of that, he knew that the further away he and Jimmy grew from society the stronger their brotherhood would be.
Victor believed in their brotherhood, and intended to protect it, just as he’d promised to protect Jimmy so many starlit nights ago when their old lives ended. Concentrating on his brother’s breathing, he knew he loved Jimmy. He’d validated Victor’s existence and had given him the courage to run free from the bonds society had tried to imprison him by.
Pressing close to Jimmy, not just for warmth, Victor closed his eyes, falling asleep with the love of his brother as his most cherished possession.
James woke up from a nightmare, lunging upwards into the darkness under the night sky to find he was alone in their shelter. Startled, he shifted his gaze anxiously out towards the gloom of the forest before the scent he was looking for snapped his attention into the right direction.
He sat up from their makeshift bed of blankets under the wood shelter they had chopped the wood to fashion against the rock lip of the hill and followed his brother’s scent. His hair fluttered in the breeze that blew through the tree line from the cliff side that overlooked the sleepy valley below. Victor’s scent was coming from that direction.
Cautiously, James wandered over and peeked behind a tree to see where his brother was under the moonlight. Victor’s silhouette stood out, but he could barely make out what he was doing. His hypersensitive hearing picked up Victor’s breath coming and going quickly past his parted lips, a noise escaping his older brother’s lips as he arched against the big rock he was leaning against.
His scent was different now, heavy and heady in a way that reminded James of the scent of blood. Unlike that scent though, Victor’s was pungent like the smell of soil and sweat. Coming out from behind the tree, Jimmy walked closer but remained quiet, trying to see what Victor was doing.
Victor knew he was there, but didn’t stop stroking himself, even when Jimmy moved out of the shadows and into the moonlight.
“Victor?” the timber of his voice was curious and deepened from the hours of disuse.
Opening his eyes to half lids, Victor glanced over at him. “Yeah Jimmy?” he replied in a distant purr, his voice husky with arousal.
James opened his mouth to ask another question, but couldn’t really voice it. He just kept watching Victor touch himself. Sitting against the rock, Victor stroked his hard penis, his shirt hanging open and his trousers down to his thighs as his hand kept pumping up and down. His ferocious claws were retracted, glinting from the moon’s rays, the trail of dark hair that coursed from his navel down to his apex and the short hairs of his chest making him look rugged and mature in the moonlight.
“If you keep staring like that, I’m liable to start blushing” Victor chuckled at Jimmy, his body stiffening when he tried to bite back his groan of pleasure as he began to climax.
James stood rooted in his spot as he watched Victor cum over his hand and stomach. Another sound of contentment came out a purr as Victor closed his eyes and rode the sensations, sighing and smiling when he opened his eyes and Jimmy was still watching him.
Standing slowly, Victor pulled his pants up and lazily fastened them closed, not minding the mess over his stomach as he rubbed his hand over his abdomen and exhaled through his nose.
“It’s ok Jimmy. I’m not shy, so don’t look so flustered” he stated in his more mature baritone as he walked over to his brother.
“What were you..?” James murmured as he looked at the slick mess Victor was idly drawing lazy circles all over his stomach and back up into his crystalline blue eyes.
Snickering softly, Victor walked by Jimmy and popped one of his semen-coated fingers into his mouth thoughtfully. “Oh, I was just getting some pent up tension out. Been masturbating for a while now when you’re asleep” he gave as a blasé response.
“Is that like…sex?” Jimmy asked, feeling his cheeks heat up from how naïve he sounded.
Laughing, Victor turned and ran his clean hand through his eye-length mop of hair. “Yes, sex with myself” he said and shook his head with amusement. “C’mon, let’s go back to bed. I’ll explain more” he stated and waved Jimmy along to follow his lead.
James stared at his brother’s broad shoulders and huffed. Ever since Victor turned into a teenager he’d been a little different. Sometimes he’d act as if he knew something funny that he didn’t, and that always drove James crazy. The years they’d been traveling together had led them to mature around each other slowly and virtually unnoticed to each other, until times like these. He remembered his older brother from a year ago and when he looked at him now he couldn’t believe how quick Victor had matured. Even when he looked at his own reflection now, James scowled at the hard jaw shaded with darkening peach fuzz and the expressive eyebrows that knitted over his brown eyes. He had become broad-shouldered like Victor, but his brother was beginning to tower over him.
Victor was also changing in temperament, which had been so gradual that James wondered if Victor saw changes in him too. He knew he did, because Victor was observant and sharp, pin pointing things out that he would’ve needed a second look to notice. His temper had grown in leaps and bounds over the years, leaving him at a loss every time because of how abrupt the shifts would be. For all his changes though, James still saw Victor as his protective older brother, who risked his own skin to fend for them both. It seemed like Victor risking his own skin was also becoming a more prominent impulse for his brother, but that was another issue in itself.
As they made it into their wooden abode for the time being, James watched as Victor sat with his back against the rock side, one leg bent up while the other stretched out. He dropped down next to him and rested his hands at his sides as he tried to make out Victor’s features in the dim starlight.
“I know you’re curious, so just ask” Victor rumbled softly down at James as he closed his eyes and exhaled a huff through his nose.
“How often do you do it?” Jimmy blurted, his tone submerging his curiosity but not the desire to ask more.
A smile tugged Victor’s boyish lips as he answered, “Enough to chafe” then snickered when Jimmy’s eyes widened, “I masturbate a lot, Jimmy. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. I’m surprised you haven’t started.”
Sneering at the teasing tone, James elbowed his side. “When was the first time?”
“When I woke up from a really sexual dream I had and my cock was hard” Victor stated simply, wiping the drying semen off his hand on the blanket under them.
Jimmy’s nostrils flared at the new scent he’d been trying to ignore. It was strong and musky, but carried some underlying appeal over his senses. “Have you…had sex with anyone already?” the question slipped off his tongue.
Victor’s brows arched. “Now when the hell would I have managed that?! I’ve never slept away from you, runt” he stated in a harsh berate. “Fuck Jimmy, like I’d have bedded a woman and you wouldn’t know about it” he huffed and shoved his younger brother mockingly.
“Christ Victor I was only asking!” James snarled and shoved him back.
Laughing, Victor grabbed Jimmy’s fist when it tried to connect with his chest. “Tell you what. Next time we go into town, I’ll find a girl and fuck her, and you can watch” he propositioned with an impish grin on his face.
Pulling away from Victor, James huffed and flopped down to his side. “Shut up, I’m not a pervert!”
Snickering, Victor stretched out beside him and nudged Jimmy’s back. “You can’t be a pervert if you’ve never jerked off, Jimmy. You’re so naïve” he taunted and rubbed his hand over his stomach, scratching at the dried semen streaked over his skin.
“Well you can’t waltz up to a girl and fuck her when you’ve never even kissed one!” he countered back as he turned to glower at him. Snorting, Victor flashed him a wide grin, one that shone even in the dimness. He got a good look at Victor’s fangs, and looked away as he dropped his head onto his arm. “Besides, I thought we were moving out of this land tomorrow…”
Victor’s mirth quickly sobered at the change of topic, his jaw setting tightly as he rolled over and gave his wide back to Jimmy.
He instantly regretted what he said. Berating himself in his head, James scooted closer to Victor’s back and sighed. It had been a long time since they’d lingered in one place, and up until earlier that day they hadn’t planned on wandering off.
When he was finally thinking he and Victor could get some stability and stay somewhere indefinitely, reality came down on both of them with cruel clarity.
They had tried a new approach this time and went into town looking for work. It had taken several heated arguments between them for James to convince his older and more mistrusting brother to try getting a job at the local lumber mill. Victor was sixteen and he was fourteen, and the town’s age restriction on child labor was very lax. James had implored Victor to try applying for work, since they were actively hiring in the saloon and he’d overheard they would take anyone, even men without verification of residency.
After a while Victor relented and agreed, warning Jimmy it would only blow up in their faces but if he wanted to get burned than fine. So far there trips into town had been low key and uneventful. They even bought their food and ate at the saloon a few times. Victor had his intense scowl the whole time, but James had been a bit more sociable, even talking to some of the locals to get information about work. Then today when they reported for what was going to be their first shift at the mill, everything fell apart.
Victor had been walking ahead of Jimmy while he talked to the foreman, his shoulders squared and his gaze raking over everyone that looked his way. The foreman had been reluctant to give them a shift, but once Victor had vouched that they weren’t lightweights and showed he could carry more than his share of planks, the man nodded and gave in.
One minute Jimmy had been left to take down a pile of planks and pass them onto Victor who would carry over fifty effortlessly to the dock for transportation, and the next Victor was gone and all hell broke loose.
He still didn’t know what started the commotion, but felt his brother might’ve done more than his share of instigating. Victor had snapped, and before James could hold him back there were three men lying slashed and wounded. The look in Victor’s eyes was wild and rabid as he snarled and bared his teeth at the crowd of men who surrounded them. He’d yelled and forced Victor to run, having to shove and tug him in their escape up the hill dozens of times before he calmed and shoved him away to stalk back to their hideout on his own.
That night they had eaten in silence from their canned preserves, and fallen asleep next to each other without more than a brush of their shoulders.
His nightmare flashed behind his closed eyes. James opened them and stared at Victor’s back, recalling the scenes in his nightmare. So much blood, and his hands were soaked in it. Victor had been wild and mindless, slashing through a man who had tried grabbing Jimmy and taking him away for shoplifting, and then Victor’s swollen and bloodied face, as he watched him take a rock and slam it against his own mouth several times before he screamed.
James shuddered, clenching his eyes shut and trying to erase the memory-dream from his mind.
“What is it?” the baritone startled him. James opened his eyes to see Victor had turned to look at him. His defined brows were wrinkled with concern. “Jimmy, what is it?”
“I had a nightmare before. It was coming back to me” he answered, dragging his gaze away from Victor’s.
Victor watched him, his expression smooth as he reached his arm around his younger brother and pulled him against his chest. “I’m sorry, brother.”
James wrapped his arm around Victor and returned his embrace. “What happened today, Victor.”
A long silence greeted him, briefly. “They provoked me…I was baited by those assholes and I lost control” he stated as he brought his hand to rest on the nape of Jimmy’s neck. “They made some wisecrack about my hands, and—they asked me if you were up for more than hauling wood” he growled in restrained anger. “When I confronted the guy who said it, he pushed me…then I was lunging at all of them. If you hadn’t stopped me I’d have torn them limb from limb—!”
“And now we’re on the run again” James cut in listlessly.
“Yes” Victor hissed, lightly clawing his nails down Jimmy’s spine. The act made his brother shiver.
“We’re lucky they didn’t follow us…try to track us” James offered and shifted to look up into Victor’s cooling blue eyes. “What if something like what happened in
“I told you that was an accident, Jimmy” Victor ground out between his teeth. “I killed that guy to protect you—to protect us!”
“I know! But Victor, I don’t want it to happen again” James stated emphatically, rising to look down at his older brother. “What if you kill someone else?? They’ll start looking for us everywhere we go! I don’t want to run like a coward—!”
“Then we won’t. We’ll stay and fight. I’m sick of running too, Jimmy. I’m sick of going from place to place and having to deal with those bastards and cowards in each town we go to. They don’t understand us and to them we’re fucking freaks. Let them try to separate us again” Victor mused ruthlessly as he sat up and glared at his younger brother. “I’m sick of it all” he hissed and pulled his knees up so he could fume against them.
“…when did things get so dire” James muttered, lying back on the blanket and looking across to Victor. “I don’t want to lose you Victor.”
Looking over his arms at him, Victor genuinely frowned. “I’m not going anywhere. No one’s taking me away from you Jimmy. I promised. You promised too, so don’t forget that the next time you question me” he remarked gruffly, and went to rest on his side, facing James.
He sighed with a wounded look. “I meant… I don’t want to lose you to the darkness…”
Scowling slightly, Victor muttered, “Sometimes you have to live in darkness before the light comes, brother. You’ll understand once you go through the change.”
The silence hung over them like a veil once Victor’s words fell. All James knew was change, and now he would have to go through another? He remembered Victor’s bloodied mouth and his cries of pain, saw how his brother had writhed until he spit out his normal canines only to be replaced by the vicious fangs he’d flashed moments before. The change had almost killed Victor, and now he had to cope with the understanding that it would come over him too…soon.